Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Personal Power in 2010

I just had the best massage in my life! I'm here on a Disney Cruise and Emerson from Portugal roughed me up in a good way.

Apparently he also got some emotional junk moving. I've heard that can happen with body and energy work, and it really seems like it happened to me this time. In the middle of the massage I felt like I was buzzing with energy.

And you know that John Mayer song, "Bigger than My Body?" The main hook is, "C I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for." Well I felt like I was filling the entire room -- much bigger than my body. I felt extremely powerful, and like I could tap into a power that was even bigger.

That's when it hit me; I always have this energy/power at my disposal, but I certainly don't feel like that all the time. So where have I given that power away?

Scenes from my life started flashing through my mind of all the kids at school who made fun of me. Of my parents' divorce. My fourth-grade teacher. The embarrassment that my family was on welfare and we used food stamps to pay for our groceries. Being too afraid to speak up and allowing my dad drive drunk with me in the car. Giving up on myself because finding a job in my field was harder than I thought it would be.

With each scene, I took my power back. I can't explain exactly how I did it ... it seems like I either verbally (in my head) told the person I was taking it back or I envisioned sucking it back into me. And with each scene, I felt like I was growing and expanding and encompassing the boat and the ocean and the sky.

It was amazing. I left the spa feeling more grounded and more centered than I've ever felt in my life. I'm left wondering if this feeling is temporary or if there really was some big shift that occurred inside of me. If it is a shift, I can't wait to see where it carries me in 2010! I'm ready to soar!!

Someday I'll fly.
Someday I'll soar.
Someday I'll be so much more,
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for.

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